valerie

I think that it is in every parents nature to pressure their children about their futures. Its programed in their DNA to constantly make sure that we know which direction that we're going in and if its a good one. We, the teenagers, take it as nagging. Its that constant voice behind us that not only gets under our skin but more so reminds us that we're not children anymore. 

So, we do what any 18 year old does, we argue back. We make it look like we are in control, we have our heads screwed on, and we know what the hell we're doing. Truth is, our parents probably know us too well, we're scared shitless. And then comes that time after the fight, that cooling off period when you realize you probably shouldn't have argued back because the advice was good, after all they do have a house, a car, a job, a family, put you through school and tried to give you everything that you could want but always given you everything you need. So yeah, I think they know a few things about life. Annnnnnd then you feel bad so you go down stairs to apologize only to see them eating lunch all by them selves and you just want to cry. Let me just take a moment to say that this feeling, that one of guilt from arguing with your parents no matter who is wrong, is mind numbingly, stomach cringe, make you want to cry shittest feeling you could have. You know exactly the one that I'm talking about because we alllllllllll know it. 

Back to my point. My future. Hmmm. The word itself kind of hurts a little, it makes you wonder how the hell you're going to get to that good established place you need to be in and not hate what you're doing to get it. People say to just live in the moment and then you'll be living life. All I want to know is how? You always have to think about what's coming next. I do. I need a plan, I need security yet independence. I want happiness, love, friendship and stability....

The future. Fuck.